


And Shepherds We Shall Be, in the Realm of Narnia and also Ohio

by Joyful



Series: Not Gonna Run [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character of Color, Community: kurt_blaine, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-04
Updated: 2011-03-04
Packaged: 2017-10-16 02:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyful/pseuds/Joyful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A weekend group outing turns into absolute insanity, when Kurt and Sam try to get the the Warblers to hang out with New Directions.  Wes and David have an epic bromance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Shepherds We Shall Be, in the Realm of Narnia and also Ohio

**Author's Note:**

> This series was written before we knew anything about Blaine, including his last name, so all character details that seem OOC are from my own head, or based on the actor.
> 
> In this verse I have declared that this Warlber is Paul: http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p300/JoyfulKittie/Dalton_Academy_Warblers-1.jpg  
> This Warbler is Drake, Blaine's roommate: http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p300/JoyfulKittie/Dalton_Academy_Warblers-2.jpg  
> Patrick: http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p300/JoyfulKittie/Dalton_Academy_Warblers-3.jpg  
> Pete (Martha's bf): http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p300/JoyfulKittie/Dalton_Academy_Warblers-5.jpg

After New Directions won at Sectionals, the tensions lessened between them and the Warblers. The Warblers didn't really care that much since all but two of the Warblers were in their regular choir, which had qualified for Regionals already, and the two who weren't were on the trophy-winning chess team. So unlike the underfunded New Directions, none of the Warblers were hurting for accolades. So, once the glee club had backed off Kurt, and stopped trying to sabotage his relationship with Blaine, Kurt and Sam decided to try and get the rest of the ND kids to see how awesome most of the Warblers were It was the second weekend in December and Sam and Blaine had been excited about seeing some new movie since the day after the _Deathly Hallows Part 1_ premiere, and Quinn and Kurt were being taken along for the ride. So they decided to make a big thing of it, inviting the rest of New Directions, the Warblers, and the Warblers' girlfriends, picking a huge multiplex nearly equidistant between the two schools. Brittany had even invited her friend Becky to join them.

The McKinley kids got there slightly before the Dalton boys, and look around for their former competition.

“They shouldn't be too hard to spot,” Santana said, “They all look alike.” She and Brittany were not wearing their uniforms, since it was a Saturday, and December, but still managed to look half-naked, even when fully dressed.

“They don't have to wear their uniforms off-campus on a Saturday,” Sam said. “They can wear whatever they want, as long as everything vital is covered, and their shirts don't say anything vulgar. That's probably what's taking them so long. They always try extra hard to impress their girlfriends on days they don't have to dress up.”

 _ **We're almost here--B**_ Blaine texted Kurt.  
 _ **Aslan save me from Wes and David.--B**_

 _ **What are they doing this time?--K**_ Kurt texted back.

 _**You'll see. We just pulled in.--B** _

“Oh sweet baby Jesus on a unicycle,” Sam said. “Who let them watch _The Boondock Saints_ again?”

Walking together, behind Blaine, Wes and David were dressed identically in blue jeans, black work boots, black shirts and black pea coats. They were even wearing matching black gloves. Blaine looked like he was trying to ditch them, as he made his way over, most of the Warblers and seven girls none of them had ever seen before followed. Both Wes and David had the arm that wasn't pressed against the arm of his best friend looped through the arm of a girl. The New Directions kids, who had never met Wes and David's girlfriends before were surprised to see that they were identical twins. The two girls had a vaguely Nordic cast to their features with long blonde hair braided down their backs. They were dressed identically in jeans and matching peasant tops. Kurt studied the two girls, trying to find any distinguishing marks to tell the girls apart. He couldn't see any.

“Who let them watch it again?” Sam asked, his voice strained

“Patrick,” several voices chorused together.

“What's wrong?” Wes asked in a bad imitation of an Irish brogue.

“If you guys quote that movie all day I will disown you,” Sam said. “I won't be your friend anymore, and I won't let Wes borrow my Sean Paul CDs anymore.”

` “What movie are we seeing anyway?” Santana asked.

“There's a really good romantic comedy playing,” Rachel suggested.

“They don't know?” Blaine asked, his eyes wide. “ _Dawn Treader!_ ”

“Huh?” Finn asked.

“ _The Voyage of the Dawn Treader_ ” Sam explained. “It's the newest Narnia movie. Blaine and I would have gone last night at midnight, except Dalton has a stupid curfew.”

“The one with the talking mouse?” Brittany asked excitedly. “I love talking animal movies. It's like my dreams and my real life get together and have a party.”

“I remember reading the books when I was very little,” Quinn said, “I liked them.”

Sam beamed at his girlfriend. He had been a little sad when she said Harry Potter had been forbidden in her house growing up, because he had wanted to share it with Quinn. Sadly, she hadn't read _Lord of the Rings_ either, which sucked because it was Sam's favorite book series, and she had never seen _Avatar_ but at least she knew Narnia. This was better than nothing.

“This is favorite story in the series,” Sam said. “Blaine prefers _The Silver Chair_ , the next one, but I know he wants to see this one too.”

“Yeah, Dragon!” Blaine said, looking excited. A few equally nerdy Warblers looked just as excited at the prospect of a dragon.

“I've been looking forward to this one too,” Artie said.

“Me too,” Tina agreed, garnering her a confused look from Mike. He clearly didn't know she liked Narnia at all. He looked a little upset that Tina had something in common with Artie she didn't have with him.

“I'm not familiar with the series,” Kurt said, “But the boys on the poster are cute, so it can't be all bad.”

“I've got to get you to start reading more than just memoirs,” Blaine said before giving his boyfriend a kiss. Two girls walked over and pushed Blaine away to hug Kurt, while Kurt laughed.

“You guys, these are Blaine's sisters, Martha and Fiona. Martha and Blaine are actually twins,” Kurt introduced. He didn't know the other girls, but he knew Martha and Fiona from Thanksgiving.

Brittany took a look at Martha, then looked back to Blaine again.

“Um, if she's your twin sister, then why are you white?” she asked Blaine.

“God, Brittany, you can't just ask people why they're white,” Quinn interrupted. “It's rude, and racist.”

“But he's white, and his sisters are Asian. I don't get it,” Brittany cocked her head to the side.

“It's okay, Quinn,” Blaine said “I know Brittany didn't mean to be rude, we're used to it. Brittany, our mom is Filipino, and our dad is Irish, so we're half white and half Asian. I just look more like my dad, and Martha looks more like our mom. Get it?”

“I think so,” Brittany said. “Can we go see the talking mouse now?”

“I love this story,” Becky said. “I like the original version, but this one should have better effects.”

“Hi, I'm Fiona,” she said, offering her hand to Becky, “Dawn Treader is my favorite in the series, because of the dufflepods.”

“I'm Becky. I like the dufflepods too,” she said, shaking Fiona's hand. “They're so funny. We should go buy our tickets now.”

“Somebody take a headcount, it's on Patrick to buy everyone's ticket,” Pete—one of the Warbler's and Martha's boyfriend—said. “Not only did he lose a bet, but he let Wes and David watch the the _Boondock Saints_ again, and his dad just made the Forbes 500. Again. He can afford it.” Pete stepped up next to Martha and took her hand.

“Really,” Santana said, looking at the boy pointed out as Patrick and smiling.

Mercedes looked a little left out. She'd attempted to get to that Anthony kid, but it had failed miserably. However, she didn't know that Blaine had spent the last two weeks talking her up to his roommate Drake, including pointing her out at Sectionals, and showing him YouTube videos of Mercedes performing with the Cheerios. Drake definitely had a crush on Mercedes.

“Hey, you're Mercedes, right?” Drake said, “I'm Drake. Blaine's mentioned you a lot.”

“Hi,” she said, holding out her hand to shake his. She was surprised when he took her hand, and instead of shaking it, kissed it.

“Would you like to sit next to me in the theater?” Drake asked hopefully.

“Sure,” Mercedes said.

“Dude, I didn't know you were half Asian,” Mike said to Blaine. “That makes you fifty percent more cool.”

Martha and Blaine just sort of stared at Mike for a moment.

“I think that was possibly the most racist compliment I've ever gotten,” Blaine said, cocking his head to the side.

“Seriously,” Martha said. “How does being Asian make you cool?”

“Sorry,” Tina said, “Mike seems to have exactly two personality traits: Asian and good dancer,” she gave her boyfriend a pointed look.

“Those aren't actually personality traits,” Fiona said.

“They are for Mike,” Puck said. “So, it's Fiona, right?”

“Yes. You must be the Noah Puckerman from whom I was warned so vehemently to stay away,” she grinned up at him.

“Huh?” Puck said.

“They warned her about you, Puck,” Quinn translated. “They probably told her that the first things you'd do after meeting her was try to get in her pants. Which is so totally true.”

“Hey, I resent that. I was going to hold the door open for her,” Puck protested.

“Noah, she's a freshman. I know you don't go for girls under sixteen. Anymore, at least. So how about you leave my boyfriend's impressionable young sister alone, and stick to girls your own age.”

“Fine,” Puck huffed. “But if I'm not even allowed to flirt with her, you totally owe me waffles later.”

“Deal,” Kurt said.

“For your information, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Fiona glared at Kurt, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh, I'm certain you are, sweetie. I just have so much fun ordering Noah around,” Kurt said in such a way that not even the frequently fiery-tempered Fiona could stay mad at him.

“Aye, let's go see the film,” Wes said in a bad Irish accent.

“Aye,” David agreed, nodding.

“And Shepherds we shall be,” Wes said

“Into the land of Narnia,” David continued

“And also Ohio,” Wes added. The two attempted to be completely deadpan, but after a few seconds both cracked up in laughter. Their girlfriends rolled their eyes in perfect unison, which Kurt found a little creepy. It was almost as if Wes and David were dating the same girl. Martha stepped behind them and smacked them both, gently, on the back of the head.

“Movie,” she directed. “And don't be annoying. You're supposed to be proving to the Lima people that you're good people, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Wes said.

“We forgot,” David admitted.

“Although, to be fair,” Martha continued, glaring at most of New Directions, “It was completely unfair of you to judge the Warblers based on the actions of Vocal Adrenaline. Also, in forcing Kurt to break up with Blaine, in turn causing Blaine to drop out of the Warblers it was the New Directions who effectively sabotaged the Warblers, not vice versa. The Warblers very well may have won had Blaine not dropped out at the last minute.”

“I never thought of it like that,” Finn said, looking even more guilty than he had before.

“Martha, back off,” Blaine said.

“Blaine, your sister is scary,” Artie said.

“I've got the tickets,” Patrick said, “Let's go see the movie.”

 

*****

 

Watching the Narnia movie turned out to be a study in watching Blaine watch the Narnia movie. Kurt was already aware that his boyfriend was a bookworm, and tended to really get into film adaptations of his favorite books. He was from a family that encouraged reading at a very young age, and Kurt knew that in the Ferguson family, the most common family activities were reading to each other aloud, and watching movies together, with board games coming in third. Kurt sat on the outside of the row, Blaine on the other side of him. Fiona sat between her brother and sister, with Pete on the other side of Martha, holding her hand. Kurt couldn't keep his eyes off Blaine's face. Whenever something happened on the screen that was just like it had been in his head, he got a fascinated, jubilant expression on his face. Whenever the movie changed some aspect of the book, he had an annoyed face, and at the end of the film, Kurt could see tears welling up in Blaine's eyes, though Blaine tried to cover it up by leaning over to kiss the top of Fiona;s head, concealing his face in his sister's hair, and comforting her while she cried.

Kurt really wasn't surprised that the Fergusons and Sam were the kind of kids who stayed through the whole credits—just in case there was a bonus at the end. After the movie everyone got ready to go get something to eat, at the Denny's next to the movie theater. As they were walking over, Sam slid his arm around Quinn's waist, and whispered something in her ear. She suddenly stiffened, turned, and slapped him. She steeled herself to start walking away, while Sam just stood there looking confused.

“Crap, damage control,” Kurt said. He grabbed Mercedes and ran after Quinn to find out what had happened while Blaine went to check on Sam.

“Sam, what did you say?” Blaine asked.

“I told her she looked beautiful today,” Sam said, a dazed and confused look on his face.

 _ **Quinn is pissed. She said Sam called her another girl's name—K**_ Kurt texted to Blaine.

“Sam, is it possible that you called Quinn by another girl's name just now?” Blaine asked.

“No,” Sam said, “I called her _Tinu_ the Elvish word for 'little star.' It's a term of endearment.”

Blaine looked at Sam, then looked around and spotted a pretty Asian girl with blue streaks in her hair.

“Say that word again,” Blaine said.

“ _Tinu _” Sam said, pronouncing the first syllable 'teen' and the second vowel s blend of 'ooh' and 'uh'.__

 _“Now say her name,” Blaine suggested pointing at the blue-haired girl._

 _“Tina,” Sam said plainly. He just started for a minute until it suddenly sunk in. “Oh, I am an idiot.”_

 _“Calling your girlfriend a word that she's never heard before, which sounds eerily similar to the name of one of her friends? Yeah, not the smartest thing you've ever done,” Blaine said, unable to hide a smile. “Fixable, though.”_

 _Blaine took out his phone and texted Kurt.  
 _ **He called her 'Tinu' which is an Elvish term of endearment. He didn't realize it sounded like Tina when he was saying it.--B**__

 **_I think you were wrong. He's definitely a bigger nerd than you are—K_ **

The reply was quickly texted back. By the time they all made it to Denny's, Quinn was ready to hear what Sam had to say. When he explained what the word meant, she blushed, kissed him, and apologized.

The group wound up filling half of Denny's, sitting in different groupings throughout the dining room. Much to Patrick's dismay, it was quickly decided that he had to pay for everything. Absolutely nobody was surprised that Santana had seated herself next to Patrick and was deploying all her best tricks. Brittany, Becky and Fiona were sitting at a table with Wes and David's girlfriend's, talking animatedly about...something, while the boys all watched despondently.

Sam and Quin, Blaine and Kurt, Martha and Pete and Finn and Rachel all sat around one of the larger tables, talking about the movie, and about different songs they wanted to sing for their various glee clubs. Martha and Fiona were both in the St. Mary's glee club, which due to the random Ohio zoning had qualified for a different sectionals. However, they had come in third at their sectionals and weren't going to Regionals either, so they weren't competition for New Directions. When their food arrived, Kurt pushed his sleeves up so they wouldn't fall in his food.

“Hey where'd you get that bruise?” Pete asked.

“Hmm?” Kurt responded.

“The bruise, on your arm. It looks really painful,” Martha said, reaching out instinctively to touch it lightly with her finger. She barely came into contact with the darkened skin before Kurt flinched away.

“It's nothing. I bruise easily,” Kurt tried to brush it off.

“Did Karofsky do that?” Rachel asked, “Or Azimio?”

“Karofsky,” Kurt admitted reluctantly. “Yesterday, when he shoved me into the lockers again.”

Before Kurt had a chance to pull his sleeve down again, Martha had her phone out and was taking pictures of the bruise.

“What are you taking those for?” Kurt asked, irritated.

“Evidence,” Martha said. “Blaine said that nobody was able to to anything about the bullying because there was no evidence. But part of that bruise definitely looks like fingers. If you have photographic evidence, that's something you can take to the principal.”

“You are so smart,” Blaine told his sister.

“Yeah, I know,” she said playfully. “What would you do without me?”

“Never have to share y birthday,” Blaine replied, and Martha stuck her tongue out in response.

“So, Mercedes and Drake seem to be getting along,” Sam observed. “I'm assuming you set that up?” he asked Blaine. Mercedes and Drake were sitting alone at a table for two.

“I may have possibly shown him a YouTube video of her singing _Beautiful_ as well as her and Kurt singing _4 Minutes_ and it's possibly that he's been referring to her as a goddess all week.”

“If he hurts her, they will never find his testicles,” Quinn said conversationally.

“Already there with you, hon,” Kurt promised. “She's my girl.”

“It's nice to see our glee clubs get along without animosity,” Rachel said. “And I apologize, again, for pushing Kurt to break up with you.”

“Rachel, I've already forgiven you. Besides, I wrote three songs that night, sometimes sadness is good for you,” Blaine said.

“True,” Rachel agreed. “I wish I had a talent for songwriting.”

“Sam's pretty decent with the songwriting,” Blaine complimented, “Though several of his songs are about _Avatar_ and _Lord of the Rings_.”

“Why do you keep telling people what a nerd I am?” Sam asked, blushing.

“You used to be proud of your geekiness,” Blaine pointed out. “I think you've let popularity get to your head. Not that you weren't popular at Dalton, but playing football doesn't get you as much notice at prep school as it does at public school, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Sam said. “I guess after that first slushie in the face, I've been a bit paranoid.”

“I'm glad you're staying at McKinley,” Quinn told her boyfriend.

Suddenly, there was a bit of commotion as a new group of people came into the restaurant. The reaction was instant. Every member of New Directions suddenly shifted, turning their backs to the lobby of the restaurant, or dropped their faces down. They all stopped talking and grew very fidgety.  
The Dalton boys and St;. Mary's girls noticed the strange behavior, and then noticed the group of guys at the doorway. Five or six big jocks, in McKinley high letterman jackets, and a few girls. They were laughing about something, presumably a movie, since this was the go-to restaurant after going to the big IMAX theater.

“What's wrong?” Drake asked Mercedes.

“It's nothing. It's just, those guys pick on us a lot. If they notice us they'll come over and make fun of us.”

“Why the heck would anyone make fun of you?” Drake asked, shocked. He couldn't imagine anyone making fun of a beautiful, talented singer like Mercedes. “Haven't they heard you sing?”

“Yeah, but singing is considered uncool at McKinley,” Mercedes said. “We're all losers to the jocks.”

“That's ridiculous,” Drake said.

*****

Over at the table where Brittany was, Fiona saw her new friends flinch.

“Karofsky and Azimio. They're going to throw things at Kurt and Rachel,” Brittany whispered.

“Are you sure?” Fiona asked.

“Yeah. They're bullies,” Becky said. “The first thing I learned in high school was to stay away from them.”

“I have an idea,” Fiona said, digging through her bookbag until she located her Flipcam and her iPhone.

*****

Despite the New Directions kids trying to look invisible, Karofsky and Azimio noticed them right away, and made a beeline to the table with Kurt, Blaine, Finn and Rachel. They didn't really pay Quinn and Sam or Martha and Pete much attention.

“Hey faggots,” Azimio said.

“Too ashamed to show your faces in Lima?” Karofsky asked.

“Actually, we came here because it's an IMAX theatre in between Westerville and Lima,” Martha said. “Why did you come here tonight?”

“Who's this loser?” Karofsky asked.

“She's my sister, Dave,” Blaine said, smiling up at Karofsky. “My twin, actually. You remember me, right? Blaine Ferguson,” he held his hand out politely to Karofsky, refusing to stoop to the level of tossing insults. Karofsky looked at Blaine's smile and swallowed hard.

“How is she your twin sister?” a third jock, standing behind Azimio asked. “She's Asian and you're white.”

Martha rolled her eyes, and checked her phone, she'd gotten a text message.

“See why we didn't get mad at Brittany?” she asked Quinn. “Everyone asks. Or if they don't ask, they drop hints, asking which one of us is adopted. It's annoying, but we're used to it.”

“Are you really that stupid, Chris?” Sam asked the other jock. “Not that it matters, but they're biracial. Anyway, you've come over to do your stupid little intimidation racket, and it's not going to work. So how about you all go about your business and leave us alone. We're just hanging out.”

“We'll go where we want, and say what we want, Evans,” Karofsky said.

“Do you really want me to kick your ass again, Karofsky? I would have won that fight if Coach Bieste hadn't stepped in.”

“You wish,” Karofsky said.

“Oh, leave us alone, Karofsky,” Kurt said. “Nobody here cares about you. Not in the slightest. Not you either. None of you actually. We don't care what you think, what you have to say, or what you want. So leave us alone.”

“Oh yeah, homo?” Karofsky said, grabbing Kurt's diet soda from the table and dumping it over Kurt's head.

“You know, that's assault,” Martha said. “He could have you arrested.”

“Prove I did it,” Karofsky challenged.

“You get that Fi?” Martha asked.

“Yep!” Fiona said from across the room, her flipcam in hand.

“Not only that, but we've got pictures of the bruise on Kurt's arm, Karofsky. The one you made. Our dad's a lawyer, and he already offered to help Kurt get you expelled, and even bring you up on charges.”

“You little bitch,” Karofsky moved and grabbed Martha by the collar. Instantly all of the Dalton boys were on their feet, making their way over. Wes and David hurried over, followed by several other Dalton boys, moving to get on the other side of the McKinley jocks. Puck and Mike came over quickly, followed by Artie, to back up Finn ad the others.

“Let go of her,” Blaine said, as Pete reached up and put his hands over Karofsky's, wrenching them off of Martha.

“I think you should leave,” Wes said.

“Why would we do that?” Azimio asked, glaring down at these two guys dressed alike. “We're not afraid of you fags.”

“You should be,” David said. “If only because while we were walking over, I dialed 911.” He lifted the phone to his ear. “Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm with a group of friends at Denny's, and some boys are bullying us. They threatened a seventeen-year-old girl, and one of them even grabbed at her. We have video tape of the whole incident. Could you send a police officer please?”

“Let's get out of here,” Azimio said, grabbing Karofsky, and the other jocks quickly followed them.

“Are the cops really on their way?” Puck asked nervously

 

“Nope. It's not even on,” David said. “I figured they'd run if I brought the police into it.”

“That's because you are seriously awesome,” Wes said.

“I know,” David said.

“I really did get it all on tape,” Fiona promised. “If you wanted to take it to the principal.”

“Right now, I just want to go and wash the diet coke out of my hair,” Kurt said.

“We should get going soon anyway,” Blaine said. “It might be Saturday, but we've still got a curfew, and we still have to drive back to Westerville.”

“Yeah,” Kurt said. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Of course!” Blaine said. “French homework and Disney movies. It doesn't get much better than that.” He leaned over and kissed Kurt.

“Hey, can I have your number?” Drake asked Mercedes.

“Okay,” she said, a little surprised. They traded cell phone numbers, and then everyone went back to their respective cars to drive home for the night. As he walked back to his Navigator, Kurt could swear he hear people praying.

 _And Shepherds we shall be,  
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.  
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,  
That our feet me swiftly carry out Thy command.  
And we shall flow a river forth unto Thee,  
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.  
In Nomine Patri, et Fili, et Spiritu Sancti,  
Amen._

Yes, Wes and David were certainly weird, but at least they were his friends.

*End*

Yeah, it's a little cracky, but I kinda like it. I hope y'all like it too.


End file.
